Today was a good day. I think I am really getting the groove of the Army life. I know that he is gone and there is nothing I can do to change it. So life has to go on. I got back to doing my chores and was in kinda a better mood today. I mean I am still stressed somewhat due to the fact I have 20 bucks to last 10 day's but nothing I can do about it but pray. Aiden is still doing pretty good but I can tell he is starting to get upset daddy is not here. It kills me I can't explain it to him and say daddy will be coming back. I can say it but he doesn't get it!
I wish I could go to the doctor and get back on my Zoloft and Xanax but need co pay money. I will have to make my self an allowance to do that next check for my own sanity and my children! Plus I promised Joey I would go and that would be one less thing to worry about for him. I also still need to take the dang car back to the shop and find out why over 900 dollars later the engine light is still on! I need the dang thing inspected and can't afford anymore money in it! I am still waiting for our turn to catch a break. Cause every time it starts to get better something else goes wrong. I wish there was a do over button you could press just one time in your life time and all debt is wiped and your credit is brand new!
Well enough whiney crap cause I need to write my amazing hubby! I am so lucky!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back to temporary reality!
84 day's to go till I see my husband again. It was a nice 2 weeks of having him home for HBL but I had to let him go again. 57 day's down 84 to go. Alyssa goes back to school tomorrow and it will be just me and little man during the day again. It will go back to feeling like the temporary normal before the holiday's. Not as nice as the normal I felt when Joey was home but it will be nice to have what has become the normal back. I will be glad when Joey is done with basic and AIT and I have him home where he belongs!
I have to say this was the best thing for us and our marriage. We were to comfortable with each other and taking each other for granted. I realize when he was gone how lucky I was and how I don't want to live without him ever. The same for him because I could tell when he got home that all the little things he used to do that annoyed me he knew and was trying to fix it. He noticed my changes to which was nice. We had an amazing 2 weeks. Probably the best 2 weeks in our marriage.
Saying goodbye was hard but not as hard as the first time. I think it's because I know what to expect this round. I still miss him like crazy and am so sad but I am okay with everything now. I also have an amazing support system thanks to via the Internet and lord that helps. Now if I can gt my 2 year old through the next 3 months it will be wonderful. I am so worried that he is going to act out a lot. He is so confused. But he has handled is first full day with out daddy well. I am sure as time goes by it will get worse before it gets better with him. I am just thankful at least Alyssa is old enough to handle this well and knows what's going on.
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